A Baby Book That Won't Make You Worry

When a woman announces she's pregnant for the first time, within weeks she's almost guaranteed to receive some kind of pregnancy and baby advice books from friends or relatives. Most of these books focus on what can go wrong, what you can do wrong, and ways you can screw up your baby for life. It's a little intimidating, to say the least.

Even though my second child is no longer a baby, I was still very excited when Parent Bloggers asked me to review the book Amazing Baby by Desmond Morris. I've never read anything by Morris, but I remember watching his series The Human Sexes on TLC and loving how he explained complex scientific concepts in simple details that helped make sense of how and why people behave the way they do. His social anthropology skills and ability to translate it to the common person are impressive.

Amazing Baby takes a look at the incredible biological process of infancy, from gestation to two years old. All topics of infancy are covered, including physical development, bonding and attachment, emotional development, learning, play, and eating.

There are no scary "what if's" in this book, save one simple one on the last page: a child who is given a loving, stimulating environment has a much better chance of growing up to be a happy, well-adjusted adult. And if you had read the book up to that point, you'd discover that it's really pretty hard to mess that up.

Babies are designed to adapt to life. For as fragile as they seem, their DNA has the foundations to accomplish most of what needs to be done to grow and adjust. They have survival skills that could rival many survivalists. For example, did you know that babies are born knowing how to swim? It's an instinct they lose as they get older, but if you placed a very young baby in water face-down, he would automatically know to hold his breath and would try to propel himself forward by coordinated movements of his arms and legs without panic, eyes open to take in his surroundings. (Obviously, I'm not recommending you try this at home. It's not like the baby can pull himself out of the water or anything, and while I believe in the concept, I'd worry too much to try it.) Babies also can recognize their mother's scent within hours after birth, and their mother's touch can soothe them in many situations.

The book is beautifully laid out, with full page photographs of babies filling every other page. Some pages have a thin overlay page over a picture, with the overlay showing drawings of the inside the baby's body, and the photo underneath providing the outline of the body to place it in context. I really loved these - there were ones showing the muscles of a baby, the parts of the brain and eye, the bones, and the lymphatic system. This book would serve as a beautiful coffee table book to look through even long after your baby's first two years.

Because I'm a nursing student, I've read much of the information in this book before. But even knowing much of it, I was still fascinated to read Morris' conclusions of how perfectly designed a human baby is. His descriptions are vivid and easy to understand, and all of the data he relays is interesting as well as informative. After skimming the entire book once, I've already found myself drifting back through parts of it again, just to read more in-depth while remembering my own daughters passing through those stages of development.

Amazing Baby is the perfect name for this book, and Desmond Morris does a fine job of proving just how amazing the human baby really is. This would be the perfect gift for a first time mother, because it doesn't focus on everything she has to do to make her baby "perfect" (which does nothing but cause more stress), but instead gives her a sneak peak of what to expect from her baby in a non-frightening method. Had I read this while pregnant with my first child, I would have been even more excited to meet her and less nervous about screwing her up from the start.

The book has a retail price of $40, but I checked Amazon and they're currently selling it for $26.40.

Revisiting The Potty Struggle

It's been a full two years since we first tried to introduce the idea of using a potty to Cordy. We've tried nearly every technique to get her to use the potty, and while she will use it and stay dry at school now, she still resists at home and won't do it at all on the weekend.

I was offered the chance to review the old favorite Once Upon A Potty from Parent Bloggers, and decided that it was worth a try. The book has been around for years, and I think nearly everyone has heard of it, but we still didn't have it.

The book is actually two books - one designed for a boy, and one designed for a girl. The girl book follows the story of Prudence, as told by her mother. It tells of how Prudence has always used diapers since she was a baby, but now she's been given a potty to use and at first is very confused. But with a lot of patience and a lot of sitting, she eventually figures it out.

I really like that the book begins with a very brief and age-appropriate anatomy lesson of where each bodily excrement comes from. It was also nice to see that Prudence was allowed to play with the potty at first while she tried to figure out what it was, even wearing it as a hat in one picture. The images are simple but clear and get the point across easily.

Cordy enjoyed reading the book, listening all the way through and then asking to read it again over and over. She especially loved the part where Prudence sat and sat and sat...she giggled and repeated it with me as we read an entire page of "sat and sat..." And she showed a lot of understanding about where everything comes from.

She didn't recognize the potty in the picture at first, insisting that it wasn't a potty and it didn't look anything like her potty. The potty in the story is a little old-fashioned looking - it looks more like a Victorian chamber pot than the plastic potty you might find in a store. I also changed the words a little when reading it to her - the book refers to Wee-Wee and Poo-Poo, but I preferred to call them pee and poop, since those are the words we use.

Has the book helped at all with her potty training? While I'd love to report she's completely potty trained, that still isn't the case. But it has shown her that sometimes she has to sit for a while before anything happens, and she'll now give it a minute or two before declaring she's done and asking to leave the bathroom. And more importantly, her little sister Mira has been following along as well, and now follows me into the bathroom to sit on the potty (fully-clothed, but still) every chance she gets. I think Mira might be potty trained faster than Cordy.

The book also comes with a CD, including the Joshua and Prudence Theme song, The Potty Song, and a read-along of the book. The songs are very jazzy in nature - not bad at all, but Cordy also wasn't very interested. She did like the read-along, though.

There's a reason Once Upon A Potty is one of the most read potty books over the years - it's clear in message, it explains the process without pressure, and it helps make the idea of the potty less frightening.

Want to win one? If you have a boy, or know someone with a boy of potty training age, leave a comment below to win the boy version of this book and CD. One winner will be selected at random after Friday, October 24.

Just What Do You Do With A Baby, Anyway?

I don't know about you, but as a first time mom I was pretty boring. While pregnant, I had big dreams of doing all kinds of exciting things with my baby on my days off as we enjoyed spending time together on walks and doing crafts while we wore matching white linen dresses. OK, maybe not the dress part.

The reality was that parenting was extremely overwhelming, and whenever I found a free moment to do something with the baby, my mind drew a blank and we ended up sitting at home, me in my sweats, and her in the stained sleeper she woke up in. It was all about survival in those first hazy months.

If I had a copy of The Rookie Mom's Handbook back then, I might have picked myself up off the floor and forced myself outside more. This book, written by Heather Gibbs Flett and Whitney Moss, was an extension of the Rookie Moms website, and features "250 activities to do with (and without!) your baby." This isn't your standard book of activities, asking you to play peek-a-boo and shake a rattle over baby's head. Instead, it is a guide to help you, as well as your baby, have a fulfilling, successful first year.

They understand the difficulties many women go through in transitioning to the role of mother, and so several activities in the book are aimed at making sure that you are not forgetting about yourself during baby's first year. Each section of the book covers three months of the first year, and instead of listing what skills baby has mastered at that point, they list skills that mom has mastered, such as folding laundry with ease, reciting baby books from memory, etc. Some activities involve going places with friends, or finding ways to reconnect with your spouse - in other words, to prevent you from losing all of the "old you" in motherhood.

The ultimate goal is to make sure you get out of the house and not become a hermit because of baby. It's all too easy to fall into a boring, predictable pattern, and that's not healthy for mom or baby. Instead, get out and hit a children's museum, or a park, or the zoo, or go to a sit-down restaurant with friends. Sure, your baby may be too young to reap the full benefits of an outing, but the real benefits are for you. Going out forces you to shower, put on clothing that isn't stained or has an elastic waistband. We all need those little pushes, right?

Each section of the book has age-appropriate suggestions for what to do with your baby, and many were things I had never thought of. One idea is to take an artistic picture of your baby looking at herself in a mirror, so that baby's front and back sides are in the photo. It's easy to set up, and easy to do, and we all know babies love to look at themselves in the mirror, right?

There are also several ideas to help you maximize your time, such as planning out a schedule for the week, making dinner a night in advance, and using the internet to make shopping easier.

I've already started using some of the suggestions in this book, and I think I'll continue referring to it long after my second baby's first birthday. Because even though the book covers the first year, many of the ideas are not limited to the baby stage. Even moms of toddlers could use a date night now and then, right?

My favorite part of the book has to be the mom milestones chart in the back. We all write baby's firsts in their baby book, but how often do we stop to remember our firsts? They give prompts like "first unpregnant cocktail," "first public diaper change," and "mom's most impressive new bra size." I wish I could remember some of those details.

The Rookie Mom's Handbook is a small book that fits easily in your purse or diaper bag, and is a great resource, with a lot of humor, for helping you make the most of your baby's first year. I really enjoyed this book, and unlike some books that you read once and forget about, this one will stay off the bookshelf as a useful guide whenever I find myself feeling bored or overwhelmed. And once my youngest has moved past toddlerhood, I see myself passing this book down to another new mom, to make this transition to motherhood easier for her.

This is a great book for new moms and moms-to-be, and would make a well-appreciated shower gift. I'd like to thank Parent Bloggers for giving me the chance to review The Rookie Mom's Handbook. If you'd like to read more reviews or check out how to participate in this Friday's rookie mom blog blast, visit the launch page at the Parent Bloggers blog.

Finding a Caregiver You Can Trust

When I was a kid, my babysitter was an older woman that my mom found in the newspaper. She had no idea if this woman was trustworthy or not, but she needed a babysitter quickly, and didn't have a lot of money to spend. Thankfully, my babysitter turned out to be a woman who was so special to me that I called her "grandma".

Now, though, the thought of trying to find a non-family member to babysit my daughters sends me into a panic attack. How can I trust a stranger? How will I know they're safe? And beyond that, how would I even go about finding a babysitter? Our neighborhood is short on cheery teens who want to spend their evenings playing games with a preschooler in exchange for $5 an hour.

I recently was introduced to Care.com, though, and I think I've found the answer to those questions. Care.com provides listings for babysitters in your area, allowing you to select and contact those who fit your criteria.

The site has a filter that lets you pick specific criteria when searching for a provider. You can search for someone based on the number of years experience, or someone who can handle pets, or someone who has experience with a certain age group. You can also specify if you're looking for part time or full time care, and how much you're willing to pay. I'm really impressed with how well the filter works to eliminate those who aren't a good match, giving you only the best choices for your needs.

As for safety, when you view a profile, you can learn more about the person, and if you think they are a good match, you can view references and even request to see the background check for that provider. You can also rate a provider on the site, giving one more way to see if a provider is a recommended caregiver or not. Being able to see an official background check goes a long way to settle my nerves over contacting a compete stranger.

But Care.com doesn't just have babysitters. You can also find pet sitters, tutors, senior care, and even housekeepers. Each offers the same filter process to select the best provider, and many profiles will show more than one service offered. (Such as housekeeping and childcare.)

If you need to find a babysitter for those oh-so-rare date nights, take a look at the providers available in your area via Care.com. The basic service is free to sign up for, with premium services available for a subscription fee. The security of references, ratings, and background checks will help you feel you're getting the best babysitter for your children. And they'll probably be more reliable than the neighborhood teen.